My Words To You

Dear shadow,
Hopefully I will write this post to you for the last and very last time. My body starts to wane from hours to hours, days to days, months to months. I felt exciting to there. I know it wasn't the stimulating learning environment I was anticipating. Being honest, I eager go there just because of you and that was very, very stupid. I seek every nook and corner just want to have a look at you. Sometimes the chair is empty while sometimes the chair is occupied by others. You was so devastating and I cannot resist my temptation looking at you when you are in my sight range.

I wondered nostalgically. If can, I hope the time can stop at that moment forever, and ever. That was the first and the last time, I took my time looking at you. It was a giggle. That day,I felt my breathing gradually creeping toward hyperventilation as approached you. Looking at you make me comfort.I know my diplomatic not very good. Between both of us, nothing that we can prattled about. We kept silence all the time.
I will treasure that memories to the end of my life although it might simple.

Somehow or rather, everything wasn't happened as we took for granted. That night, as I walked passed by, I seemed to see a familiar looking. When I looked carefully, it was you. Everything appeared in a twinkle of my eyes. At that time, I literally sat at there for seem to an eternity although just a few minutes passed by. Disappointment flooded through me as my eyes unerringly focused the table a stone's throw away from me. There are the two and only two of you. I think you was completely caught by surprise of our presence. You gave a vague smile when seeing us. That night, I lost my appetite having my supper as my stomach was already full---of disappointment. That scene still fresh inside my mind as it was just happened yesterday.

That came to the end of the story between both of us. We cannot be more than friends. Fortunately it did not aggravate the relationship between us. I knew I unable to fill up his shoes. How silly am I as sometime I still think that I managed to be. There are nothing that could do except to wish you. I can't change you, the only person that can change you, is yourself. Sometimes, I even kept the distance between us as far as I could. I dare not look at you. The way you look at me, seemed like stared at me, no emotion, cold.. It was irritating. One day, you pop out the conversation with me, chat with me and make joke with me. It seemed to be lighted lamp in my heart. However, it was just my over imaginative. It was really, really idiot thinking.

Nothing that I do not understand when looking at the questions paper. I will take it all in once. But, no matter how many I did, no matter how hard I try my best to understand, I still cannot get to know what are you thinking about. It just met with little success. How useless I was. Anyway, thank for your presence. I learned something new that cannot get, neither from the textbooks nor through internet. I will take all the challenges in the face of adversity, no matter where am I, when is it and how is it. Because of you, I try my best to do anything that I already make my words towards you. Somehow I could not manage to do it. You still console me that it was alright. Being seeking to prevail over others by nature, I still want to prove to you and make my words to you. I will be someone that as described by you, an "mad" guy. Time will reveal all the truth.

We as if chasing the shadow with each other, unable to get close to each others.Once I started to chase against the shadow, the shadow will keep running away from me at a constant distance. I will make myself to forget about you. One day, if you feel that no one chase against the shadow, there is the time I already get rid of the loneliness, and that day will be the day I already forget about you.

Wish you all the best in future. Good luck.

From
shadow chaser.